Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Mercedes Benz - now 25% less gadgety!

Are you one of those Benz fans who goes ga-ga over all of the tri-star's bells and whistles? As a former owner of a late-80's 560SEL with a reclining back seat, I was one of those people. When you shop for a car, is the ability to open the door without using the key high on your list of considerations? You may want to re-think that S-class purchase. Why? DaimlerChrysler brass issued an edict last year, directed at the engineers and suppliers behind the increasingly compex MB electronic systems. Did you know the Maybach has 77 electronic control units? When those units fail, you either lose your seat position, or your drive-by-wire brakes. Something to think about. Unfortunately, elecronic control systems are a fact of life for most of cars. At least DCX is doing something about it, by testing their systems as part of an integrated test unit, as well as individually. They are also forcing their suppliers to become certified, and joining other carmakers in adopting standards for the various vehicle control systems.
What DCX seems to have forgotten is that one of the reasons MB cars fetch their ridiculous prices, in addition to paying for heritage, design, perceived safety, societal ranking, and teutonic genes, the buyers are paying for, and expecting, a growing cadre of gizmos and gadgets that make you go "wow!" Seat memory: check. Keyless/buttonless entry: check. HID lights: check. LCD speedometer that converts into rear-view/front radar view: check (see 2006 s-class). Anti-booming sunroof setting: not anymore.
The following is an excerpt from DaimlerChrysler's The Zero-Defect Initiative - Sounding Out Hardware and Software:
Increasingly faster chips that offer more memory capacity - and at lower costs - make it possible to equip existing electronic components with more and more functions. But new functions make testing more expensive and systems integration more difficult. What’s more, many users will find they can not operate a device that’s overloaded with all conceivable functionsuntil after they have pored through thick user manuals.
Wolfsried adopts a clear-cut position on this matter: “Functions that no one uses and that are of no use to anyone do not belong in the car.” He and his team found “bells and whistles” of this kind at the Mercedes-Benz Car Group as well. “That’s why we removed more than 600 functions from our cars.”
As examples, he cites an “anti-booming setting” on the sunroof for highway driving, or the storage of a driver’s individual seat position in the car key. “It was done with good intentions, but if I take my wife’s key at some point and can’t find my own seat position any more, that tends to be annoying for me instead of comfortable.”
So instead of investing money into better UI
(see Nokia, Apple, Audi, Frog Design, et al), the decision is to cut "more than 600 functions from our cars." Imagine paying $50,000 per year of MIT tuition, and finding that English classes have been eliminated to save money and to reduce the complexity of the admissions office database. So next time you are in the market for a new car, just remember who gives you all of your bells and whistles (Audi, BMW, Lexus), and who takes them away to cut corners.
Maybach Exelero Concept>

Thursday, December 22, 2005

The worst poem in the universe

The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
They lay. They rotted. They turned
Around occasionally.
Bits of flesh dropped off them from
Time to time.
And sank into the pool's mire.
They also smelt a great deal.
-Paul Neil Milne Johnstone

Bad Santa!

Images from Snopes.com article "Santa Slay"

A gutted Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

A blood-spattered, knife-wielding Santa Claus figure
holding a bloody severed head outside a Manhattan brownstone


A lynched Santa Claus

Child bawling upon encountering a grave with a headstone
indicating that Santa Claus had died earlier in the year
(in case you can't tell, it's a composite image)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Screw You Susteen (makers of Data Pilot)

I sent the following message to Susteen when they sent me yet another ad for a company that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with Susteen or its customers:
I will NEVER EVER AGAIN purchase any of your products. I made the mistake of investing in your universal kit. When I got a defective cable in the package, it took me a week of calling to get it exchanged. As soon as I switched phones, and tried to use your product for the purpose I bought it for - to upload my phone book to my new phone - I could not do so, because a year had passed since I bought your kit, and my new phone was not supported since I could not update the software. If your idea of good customer relations is to force them to keep on paying for updates and cables that don't work with the universal kits that you sell, then your management needs to go back to school. You've lost a customer in me and my whole family, and I've convinced at least ten of my friends who were thinking of purchasing these kits to buy FutureDial instead. Good bye, and good riddance!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Rock on, Pat!



Who's the anti-christ?
agoo-goo-ga-ga, good little rocker...
yes, you are, little pattie, yes you are...

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Amazon “I Hate You”

Like so many college students I too buy my books online at Amazon.com. I shop online to try to save a buck or two, and I even find myself trying to resell my used books back; through Amazon, to other college students.
However my latest transaction didn’t go through as smoothly as it should have.

I have an algebra book that I originally purchased for way over $100. However the book doesn’t cost nearly as much now, it’s been a whole 2 years.

The going rate for this book is $0.98. (wow the world of algebra has changed that much!!!!)

That’s right 98 cents; and this isn't the worst part!
I actually managed to sell the book for $2.50 (lucky me)
Amazon credited me $3.49 for shipping (this is how much I can spend up to, to ship it, anything over comes out of my own pocket)

And the grand total comes to $3.39

Now you are probably asking your self, is Amazon that fucking stupid that they can’t add
$2.50 + $3.49, well... the answer is no.

Below you will find a partial e-mail from Amazon.com. It is the break down of their fees. Please if you are not already sitting down, please do, because the stupidity is shocking.

________________________________________
+ Sale Price of the item
+ Shipping Credit
- Variable Closing Fee
- $0.99 Fixed Closing Fee (waived for Pro Merchants)
- Commission of 6-15% of sale price
________________________________________
  = Total deposited to seller's account
 
For order #058-4138049-8629350, the fees taken were calculated as 
follows:
________________________________________
    $2.50 (Sale Price)
  - $0.38 (Commission of Sale Price)
  - $0.99 (Fixed Closing Fees)
  - $1.23 (Variable Closing Fees) 
  + $3.49 (Shipping Credit)
________________________________________
  = $3.39 (Total deposited to your account)

So this is just FUCKING great. If you are smarter then Amazon, then you have already figured out that I have lost money on this transaction.

Considering I can’t do anything regarding this situation, accept stick my thumb up my ass and rotate
I would like to take this moment to say FUCK AMAZON.

Thank you

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Finally - a collection of computer peeves from Lifehacker readers

One entry:

On Windows: why do you take a few minutes to start, then another minute to show a different boot screen, I log in, you show me the desktop and it taked another few minutes before I get to work. Stop teasing me.

More info on why I boycott Sony: these CDs are harmful to your PC

Fred von Lohmann at EFF (Electronic Frontier Foundation) writes (via BoingBoing):
Sony-BMG has been using copy-protection technology called XCP in its recent CDs. You insert your CD into your Windows PC, click 'agree' in the pop up window, and the CD automatically installs software that uses rootkit techniques to cloak itself from you. Sony-BMG has released a 'patch' that supposedly 'uncloaks' the XCP software, but it creates new problems.

But how do you know whether you've been infected? It turns out Sony-BMG has deployed XCP on a number of titles, in variety of musical genres, on several of its wholly-owned labels.

EFF has confirmed the presence of XCP on the following titles (each has a data session, easily read on a Macintosh, that includes a file called 'VERSION.DAT' that announces what version of XCP it is using). If you have one of these CDs, and you have a Windows PC (Macs are totally immune, as usual), you may have caught the XCP bug.
  • Trey Anastasio, Shine (Columbia)
  • Celine Dion, On ne Change Pas (Epic)
  • Neil Diamond, 12 Songs (Columbia)
  • Our Lady Peace, Healthy in Paranoid Times (Columbia)
  • Chris Botti, To Love Again (Columbia)
  • Van Zant, Get Right with the Man (Columbia)
  • Switchfoot, Nothing is Sound (Columbia)
  • The Coral, The Invisible Invasion (Columbia)
  • Acceptance, Phantoms (Columbia)
  • Susie Suh, Susie Suh (Epic)
  • Amerie, Touch (Columbia)
  • Life of Agony, Broken Valley (Epic)
  • Horace Silver Quintet, Silver's Blue (Epic Legacy)
  • Gerry Mulligan, Jeru (Columbia Legacy)
  • Dexter Gordon, Manhattan Symphonie (Columbia Legacy)
  • The Bad Plus, Suspicious Activity (Columbia)
  • The Dead 60s, The Dead 60s (Epic)
  • Dion, The Essential Dion (Columbia Legacy)
  • Natasha Bedingfield, Unwritten (Epic)
  • Ricky Martin, Life (Columbia) (labeled as XCP, but, oddly, our disc had no protection)
Several other Sony-BMG CDs are protected with a different copy-protection technology, sourced from SunnComm, including:
  • My Morning Jacket, Z
  • Santana, All That I Am
  • Sarah McLachlan, Bloom Remix Album
This is not a complete list. So how do you recognize other XCP-laden CDs in the wild?

Tip-off #1: on the front of the CD, at the left-most edge, in the transparent "spine", you'll see "CONTENT PROTECTED" along with the IFPI copy-protection logo. A few photos make this clearer.

Tip-off #2: on the back of the CD, on the bottom or right side, there will be a "Compatible with" disclosure box. Along with compatibility information, the box also includes a URL where you can get help. The URL has a telltale admission buried in it: cp.sonybmg.com/xcp. That lets you know that XCP is on this disc (discs protected with SunnComm have a different URL that includes "sunncomm").

If you haven't been infected yet, to protect yourself from XCP in the future, disable "autorun" on your Windows PC. Once you have done so, however, these CDs may not be accessible under Windows unless you have specialized ripping software installed; these CDs are encoded in a way that intentionally confuses standard Windows CD drivers. For a smarter audio grabber for Windows, you may want to consider using Exact Audio Copy, which reportedly can read these CDs if you have turned off autorun and avoided infection by XCP.

I support EFF - and so should you - unless you believe tinfoil hats offer you more protection that you will ever need. For information on donating to EFF, see
http://www.eff.org/support/

Friday, November 04, 2005

Ha-ha! Hummers not selling so well at Thousand Oaks Auto Mall

Having test-driven both the H1 and the H2, I am not one to playa-hate. They are both solid cars, with impressive climbing and off-roading skills. Unfortunately, neither civilian model gets much off-roading exposure, based on how many I see parked at Starbucks and Coffee Bean, and the Hummer has become a poser symbol, like the RAZR will shortly be.
So nothing brought me greater joy than seeing that a local dealer - Hummer of Thousand Oaks - is storing hundreds of unsold H2s and H3s at remote parking lots, so as not to spook the customers. The fine folks at TheMessThatGreenspanMade blog managed to snap some pics of the Hummer rainbow sitting behind a Hyatt in Thousand Oaks. I'll bet the folks living in McMansions in Thousand Oaks are very excited about seeing the Hummers burn through 5 gallons of fuel (that's what - $14?) as they make the 1.1 mile journey from lot to lot and back. And GM is increasing H3 production?

Thursday, November 03, 2005

w00t! Red light cameras in Los Angeles unplugged since June

UPDATE: I personally witnessed a red-light camera being refilled with film and tested, around 3:00 a.m. sometime in mid-November 2005, so the red light cameras are back up and operational. Oh well - it was good while it lasted.
Art

With all credit to BoingBoing's Mark Frauenfelder:

Red light cameras in LA have been unplugged since June, reveals councilman:

Mark Frauenfelder: The red light cameras set up at intersections to take pictures of scofflaws have been turned off since June, because the city was unhappy with the level of service the former operator of the cameras had been providing. When councilman Dennis Zine made the news public, several other councilman became upset that he let the cat out of the bag.

Councilman Bernard C. Parks, a former police chief, also said Zine, a former police officer, should not have revealed the information.

"I don't think it was good" that he told, Parks said. "People see those cameras and slow down. It's a deterrent."

Zine's disclosure came during a debate Monday over awarding a contract to a new vendor for the cameras, which photograph red-light-running drivers and their vehicles' license plates.
...
The LAPD has said the cameras reduced the number of accidents at those intersections by 18%. About 64,000 citations, at $271 each in 2002 but eventually hitting $351, were issued in the first four years.

[Mark] wonder[s] about this. About a month ago, [Mark] posted a story about a Canadian journalist who wrote an article criticizing red light and speed cameras in the city, citing statistics that the cameras "raise about $14 million annually for police" but do nothing to reduce traffic injuries. Link

Monday, October 31, 2005

It's time to boycott Sony

Mark Russinovich, a Windows expert, of Sysinternals Freeware, wrote Sony, Rootkits and Digital Rights Management Gone Too Far - a look at the DRM software from First 4 Internet that Sony is using to cripple its music CDs. This software was designed to only allow 3 copies of a cd, and forces one to use the player software on the CD itself. The software is poorly written, infiltrates the PC, and attempts to conceal itself, just like trojans and other malware. It's also written so that if your malware scanner finds it, and deletes its files, it can crash your system. Also, if the software malfunctions, preventing you from booting into Windows, you won't be able to boot into Safe Mode either - it's there as well.
Overall, it's a buggy piece of software that takes too much control over your whole system, tries to hide itself, and offers no uninstall option. This is just the latest reason to teach Sony a lesson by boycotting it. From forcing Memory Sticks onto the consumer, to using ATRACs for compression instead of MP3, for crippling most of their equipment by forcing it not to work with other manufacturers' equipment - when will people wake up and see Sony as the marketing juggernaut it really is? Sony products are NOT superior, their customer service is terrible (personal experiences), they DO NOT stand behind their product whatsoever. They may have a good design team, but it's time people started looking at function as well as form.

I hereby wow to NEVER AGAIN purchase another Sony product:
  • no more Sony CDs,
  • no more Sony/Columbia/MGM dvds,
  • no more Sony TVs, DVD players, VCRs,
  • no more Sony audio equipment,
  • no more Sony car audio products (their Xtreme line was crap to begin with),
  • no more Sony blank media,
  • no more Sony CD/DVD burners,
  • no more Sony satellite equipment,
  • no more VAIO PCs or monitors,
  • no more Sony Ericsson cell phones,
  • no more Walkmans/Discmans/MD/Network Walkmans/Walkman phones.
Just say no to Bravia, Qualia, Trinitron, XBR, VAIO, etc.

It's time we all said good bye to Sony - I've had enough, when will you?

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Money


Money, the long green,
cash, stash, rhino, jack
or just plain dough.

Chock it up, fork it over,
shell it out. Watch it
burn holes through pockets.

To be made of it! To have it
to burn! Greenbacks, double eagles,
megabucks and Ginnie Maes.

It greases the palm, feathers a nest,
holds heads above water,
makes both ends meet.

Money breeds money.
Gathering interest, compounding daily.
Always in circulation

Money. You don't know where it's been,
but you put it where your mouth is.
And it talks.

-Dana Gioia

Sunday, October 23, 2005

WDCD - What Did the Conmen Do?

Cenk Uygur is co-host of The Young Turks, the first liberal radio show to air nationwide. The Young Turks began as Sirius Satellite Radio’s first original program, and, while still on Sirius, is now nationally syndicated and available on itunes and online at www.youngturk.com and www.radiopower.org. He wrote a scathing, well-written, dead on post on the Huffington Post blog. The post - "If You're a Christian, Muslim or Jew - You are Wrong" - is a look at the fallacy of religion, and all the damage the three major religions have caused over the last 6000 years, by inciting wars, crusades, and causing men to behave badly in general. Behavior that would be grounds for imprisonment today was cause for martyrdom in the olden days. Rules that made little sense back then, are even more senseless today.
As you can perhaps tell, I tend to agree with Cenk's views. The opinions put forth in the post's comments by religious believers only tend to reenforce his views. In these days of presidents issuing world-changing decisions because their god told them to, and the ability to tell the truth in countries praised for freedom of speech, people need to know the cold hard truth.

Friday, October 21, 2005

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES

1) Thats not right....................................... Sum Ting Wong

2) Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu
Hai Ding


3) See me ASAP................. Kum Hia Nao


4) Stupid Man.................... Dum Fuk


5) Small horse................ Tai Ni Po Ni




6) Did you go to the beach?....................... Wai Yu So Tan

7) I bumped in to a coffee table................. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni

8) I think you need a face lift...................... Chin Tu Fat

9) It's very dark in here.............................. Wao So Dim

10) I thought you were on a diet............... Wai Yu Mun Ching

11) This is a tow away zone....................... No Pah King

12) staying out of sight.............................. Lei Ying Lo

13) He's cleaning his automobile................ Wa Shing Ka

14) Your body odor is offensive.................. Yu Stin Ki Pu

15)Great.................................................... Fa Kin Su Pah

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Google has a Sense of Humor


Founded in 1998 by Sergey Brin and Larry Page, Google is named after a term that is represented by the number 1 and followed by 100 zeros, which spells out googol.

Google is a wonderful search engine; it can return anything from locations, directions, to simple definitions. All you have to do is type your word or phrase into the search box, and click “Google Search” and within seconds you will be bombarded by hundreds of websites pertaining to your word or phrase. This is not uncommon, many search engines work this same way, but Google has something special. Right next to “Google Search” there is another button labeled “I’m Feeling Lucky.” This special button will return the first page that Google finds that pertains to your search word. This is where the real fun begins.

While the wonderful people at Webster’s Dictionary define failure as “lack of success,” Google seems to return something quite different. I am not sure whether this is on purpose or perhaps just a mere coincident, but when anyone types in failure into Google’s search box and hits “I’m Feeling Lucky” it brings up George W. Bush’s autobiography from whitehouse.gov.

Just like so many, I too have heard of the saying, “when you look up ‘idiot’ in the dictionary it has your picture next to it” I just never imagined it to be true.

As much as I love Google, this time I have to disagree with them. I’m sorry, but I do not believe George W. Bush should be associated with the term failure, if anything I think his name should me synonymous with success. Can you name anyone else who:

That is the definition of success if I ever heard one.

Monday, October 10, 2005

W.G.D. ♥ G.B.C. blog

I'm in love with a new blog - Gadget Blog Corrections Blog. Ever read the gadget blogs (check out my blogroll for examples) - and go "What the F?" Do some of the posts seem just a tad dubious? Well, get on over to the G.B.C.B. (that would make a cool T-shirt logo), and join them in catching the tech writers red-handed. They leave no stone unturned in their quest to call "bullshit" and plenty of [sic] on articles from Engadget, Gizmodo, The Register, and their ilk. Right on!

You know you are from Southern Cali when....
















I'm not sure if these observations about us SoCalians are all that flattering, but here you go.
For anyone who's never been to Southern California, I've added comments.

  • Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
    • Home prices have tripled in the last ten years.
  • You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.
    • Exotic cars are dime-a-dozen in SoCal. Getting hit by one, however, is a one-in-a-million shot - unless you've got Danny Bonaduce driving one. Then again, poor Danny can't afford much more than a 350z convertible.
  • You don't know anyone's phone number unless you check your cell phone.
  • You speak Spanish, but you're not Mexican or are Mexican but don't speak Spanish at all.
    • Spanish is the almost official second language in SoCal, since technically this was Mexico not too long ago, and more than half of the population is Hispanic.
  • You begin to "lie" to your friends about how close you are when you know damn well that it'll take you at least an hour to get there (see below).
  • Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes".
    • SoCal is criss-crossed by a network of highways, with downtown Los Angeles being a major highway hub. Most people live ten to fifteen minutes away from one. Once you get on a highway, all bets are off.
  • You drive to your neighborhood block party.
  • In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the sameday.
    • When the temperature hits 60 F, we bring out the ski jackets to go out for coffee. Surfers, however, hit the beach in wetsuits. Big Bear is a ski resort in San Bernardino county, about 8000 feet high up, that's 2 hours away from Los Angeles. You can easily drive up in the morning, ski half a day, come back, and still have time to go to Malibu Colony Plaza for some Siberian Java ice blended.
  • You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.
    • Even though NYC is the boiling pot, SoCal is home to various Asian, Hispanic, and European populations, and the restaurant diversity reflects that. Unlike NYC, SoCal is full of inexpensive, casual places where you can actually park, grab a bite, and not have to dress up.
  • If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.
    • Ok, I get it, "nobody walks in LA". Since our public transportation is nothing to be proud of, and it's kinda hot throughout the year, cars are a need, not a luxury. Thus, parking is plentiful, inexpensive, and the roads are actually designed for driving. Then again, most of SoCal wasn't built until the 20th century, so cars were part of the design plan. At one point, before the 60s, Los Angeles had a great network of electric trams - until General Motors, bless their little shareholder-value-consumed brains, bought the trams, and got rid of them in one fell swoop. Thanks, GM putzes, for getting rid of something useful and historic.
  • Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.
    • In the US, unlike Europe, calling a mobile phone is no different from calling a landline. This is due to the fact that phone numbers for VOIP lines, landlines, and mobile phones are allocated from the same pool of numbers. Some neighborhoods, due to many homes having multiple landline and cellphone numbers, ran out of numbers and had to get an area code "overlay". In these "overlay" areas, neighbors have to dial the area code to call their neighbors. Most places, however, you can just dial the number without the area code.
  • You know what "In 'N Out" is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.
    • In 'N Out is the best fast food hamburger place. It's family owned, with outlets throughout SoCal, Nevada, and Arizona. Their patties are never frozen, just refrigerated, they are always packed, so the meat doesn't have time to spoil, and they have a small menu. The shakes are made with real ice cream. Some of the packaging has little religious symbols discreetly printed on it, but it's not too in-your-face. Also, some off-the-menu items include "Animal Style" burgers - extra sauce, "Animal Style" fries - fries covered with melted cheese, fried onions, and sauce.
  • You don't stop at a STOP sign; you do a California Roll.
    • A California Roll is both a type of sushi roll (imitation crab meat and cucumber), and the act of not completely stopping the car at stop signs and left turns. In SoCal, cars must stop completely for 2 seconds at stops and turns, but most people either don't stop for the 2 seconds needed, or just slow down, and then speed up, never actually stopping completely.
  • You really can never be too rich or too thin or too tan.
  • You've partied in Tijuana at least 3 times.
    • Tijuana, Mexico is only 2 hours away from Los Angeles, and only 15 minutes away from San Diego. With a $50 purchase of Mexican car insurance, it's an easy day trip.
  • You don't remember at least 1 of them.
    • What happens in TJ, stays in TJ.
  • You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.
    • Tanning salons are safer.
  • You eat pineapple on pizza.
    • Technically, that would be a Hawaiian pizza.
  • Your cell phone has left a permanent impression on the side of yourhead.
    • At least we aren't forced to wear headsets like the other coast.
  • You think that Venice is a beach.
  • The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.
    • A result of the Dr. Atkins' diet craze of 2004, which proselityzed that carbs in food are terrible for the body, and that a diet rich in protein, and low in carbs is a quick and easy way to lose weight. Eventually the Atkins' movement lost steam, almost taking out such beloved institutions as In 'N Out (who had to introduce the "carb burger" - lettuce instead of bun), and Krispy Kreme (great cream-filled donuts).
  • You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.
  • You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "949." Nobody likes anyone from the "909" because it stinks there.
    • 818 - the "Valley" - covers "over the hill", from Pasadena on one side, to Ventura county on the other.
    • 562 - ?
    • 213 - Old Los Angeles area code, still covers downtown Los Angeles and downtown adjacents
    • 323 - New Los Angeles area code, covers an area from Beverly Hills to East Los Angeles
    • 949 - Orange County, including Newport Beach, Laguna Beach, etc.
    • 909 - Riverside County, where you can smell the fertilizer used on farms everywhere.
    • 310 - Covers the area from Beverly Hills all the way west to the ocean (Santa Monica), and almost all the way down to Orange County.
  • You call 911 and they put you on hold.
    • Second largest population in the nation - things can get a little busy.
  • You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.
  • The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.
    • SoCal is full of WAMs (WaitressActressModel), who are waiting for auditions, soccer moms whose husbands are working and whose kids are in school, and trustafarians who don't really do much besides work out and party.
  • You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It doesn't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason.
    • SoCal is full of mountain ranges, and as they say - the grass is always greener on the other side. Angelenos hate the Valleyites, Pasadena is not a big fan of Glendale, and so forth.
  • You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.
    • This is very true. You can often find a McD's or a Strbx close to you, or within another business. Several Home Depots have the Mac inside, and you can often find Strbx inside large laundromats, supermarkets, etc.
  • You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the five" mean.
    • SIGAlert is a traffic alert
    • PCH is Pacific Coast Highway, a.k.a. Highway CA-1, that goes along the coast, with ocean views along most of the drive. It's a small two-lane highway, but very scenic. By the way, I've seen smaller high-speed highways in Europe, but PCH is all about enjoying the drive, not getting there quickly. Also, exotic cars and motorcycles on PCH, especially in the Malibu/Zuma Beach/Ventura area are more common than small cars on European roads.
    • "the five" is the US-5 freeway, which is old and jammed, but that cuts through most of SoCal.
  • You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
    • California allows the use of pot for medicinal purposes, with a doctor's prescription. Unfortunately, federal law prohibits any use of pot, and while one may not get busted by the California authorities, the DEA does not share their views.
  • It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH".
    • What can I say - we live in the desert, people. It doesn't rain that often here - but when it does, all havoc breaks loose. Not sure why, but too many people forget how to drive as soon as a drop of water hits their windshield - whether it's the rain, or the guy in front who has his windshield washer aimed to shoot not his windshield, but that of the car behind him.
  • The Terminator is your governor.
    • Yes, it's true - Arnold "I'll Be Buk" Schwarzenegger, the man who butchered so many lines in so many movies, is the governor of this state. He can often be seen with his wife, the Skeletor, and his kids, on parade in his fleet of Hummers. Since he became governor, however, he has a personal SWAT team of security following him around, and blocking traffic when he chooses to "flip bitches" (u-turn) on PCH during rush hour.
  • You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from California.
    • And I'm passing them on to you, my dear readers, for your amusement, guffaws, and outrage. So remember - when in SoCal, do as the SoCalians do - and take it easy :)

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Black-out... and I don't mean Nelson Mandela

God Bless the great state of Kalifornia and its citizens, otherwise we don’t have a chance.

Everyone is talks about national security, how we must spend more money to make our selves a safer nation. We establish new councils and pass new acts. We are now the proud owners of Homeland Security, and wonderful bills that allow the federal government to make conference calls out of our private phone conversations.

All this protection and yet when LA on September 13th had a power outage, the state government was in a complete panic, they had no clue what had happened. Half the city thought it was under a terrorist attack and the other half was in the dark altogether. Traffic lights where out, people where stuck in elevators, and downtown high-rises where promptly evacuated.

Rest assured everyone it was no terrorist attack, the only real terror is our education system; one of two DWP workers had cut the so called “wrong wire” while conducting maintenance. This incident had triggered the system to go offline, it’s a safety measure that the DWP employs in case of an emergency, and thus three million people where left in the dark.

All this money for protection against would-be terrorist, and we’re not even prepared for a blackout.

Friday, September 09, 2005

ABC TV Store, run by Delivery Agent, sucks big time

In the middle of July, I ordered a few things from the ABC TV store as a gift. Today, September 9th, not a single one of the three items that I ordered has shipped. Today, as I was looking pointlessly through their site for a phone number, I found a Rate The Store link. So here's the wisdom I unloaded onto them:
Selection is horrible, prices are ridiculous, and if one item is backordered, nothing gets shipped. There's zero communication about order status, customer service reps couldn't care less, and a phone number is impossible to find. Having shopped online for the last 10 years, this is absolutely positively the worst experience I've ever had - an order placed in the middle of July has yet to be shipped, 2 months later, and I haven't received a single notice or update. And you wonder why people buy unlicensed goods? It's because the official outlets like yours are clueless, pointless, and frustrating.

It's pointless, since the feedback just goes back to the same clueless dolts who run the place, but it felt nice to unload. Next step? Find actual independent ratings sites, and spread the word. And this whole nightmare could have been avoided by one simple adjustment to their policy - ship items as they become available, not once the order is complete. Lesson here - sometimes it pays to order each item as an individual order, shipping savings be damned.
So in conclusion - DON'T SHOP AT ABC TV Store, run by Delivery Agent. And I've removed ABC, ESPN, ABC family and Disney channels from all of my TVs - it's like they don't exist.
A $50 order snafu has now resulted in loss of several eyeballs for four channels, as well as exposure to many, many eyeballs online - so, Disney - who do you think got screwed by this transaction?

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Pet peeves

Had a frustrating experience today. One of my pet peeves - yeah, I know, get over it - is bad grammar, spelling, or misused words. As I was walking through a building today, there was a row of vending machines. The soda machine (the only one with H2O in it) was out of order. And what was scribbled, with a black sharpie, on a hastily torn piece of paper taped to the machine?
"out of order.
thank you."
How about you apologize, you arrogant vendor people?
Thank you for what? For spelling the words right? For not being able to buy some water after spending 2 hours in a doctor's office? For filling out horribly worded surveys, that inquire if I had sex in the past year without a condom? Right after asking if I had sex in the past year without using birth control? Hello!!?? Or not being able to download the paperwork ahead of time, and have it filled out - and instead having to rush through a mound of paper the size of my employee manual? ARRRGGHHHHH!!! At least this time, the hernia check was optional - thanks, doc, for not having to drop trou! ooh, went off on a tangent, didn't I?
Perhaps next time I miss a deadline, I can just say "Thank you"? /rant

My favorite explanation for why "Bush Don't Care About People"

According to "Nan Thrax" (yeah, how clever), responding to a post on boing boing:
What everyone fails to understand about the Bush Administration response to Katrina is the underlying reasoning. My wife (who is an Evangelical Christian) explained to me that this is the beginning of the 'End Times'. Katrina is just one of the portents. Bush et al are just marking time until Rapture. God smote the modern Sodom as a sign of his might (on this Dr. Dobson and Bin Laden agree). This event in just another sign of the Second Coming. By controlling the press, freedom of movement, etc. Bush is help people to get ready for the Rapture. None of the problems are the fault of Bush, they are controlled by God. So do not blame Bush, it is not his fault, God made him do it.
While I understand that this is how conspiracy theorists thrive, doesn't this just make you slap yourself on your head, and go "well that makes sense"?

Fishing's good if you don't mind the gators or the floaters

Yes, it is photoshopped.
And yet, it's still funny as hell.
thank you, boing boing

Friday, September 02, 2005

RSS feed url updated

Just a quick admin note: just noticed, and fixed, the wrong link in the sidebar to our RSS feed.
Speaking of which, I've been using bloglines.com to handle my RSS feeds, and been loving it. It's like IMAP for your e-mail. Since you read everything in a browser, you just pick up where you left off your last session, no matter where you are.

You will also note the new and improved sidebar, featuring two new ways to add us to your reading list:

Subscribe with Bloglines


Add to My Yahoo!

The lighter side of NOLA's demise

Here are a few things I've found that made me exclaim "whoo-hoo", to no-one in particular:

1) Editorial about Bush:
George W. Bush gave one of the worst speeches of his life yesterday, especially given the level of national distress and the need for words of consolation and wisdom. In what seems to be a ritual in this administration, the president appeared a day later than he was needed. He then read an address of a quality more appropriate for an Arbor Day celebration: a long laundry list of pounds of ice, generators and blankets delivered to the stricken Gulf Coast. He advised the public that anybody who wanted to help should send cash, grinned, and promised that everything would work out in the end.
2) Who knew Condee is the new Omarosa?:
According to Drudge, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has recently enjoyed a little Broadway entertainment. And Page Six reports that she's also working on her backhand with Monica Seles. So the Gulf Coast has gone all Mad Max, women are being raped in the Superdome, and Rice is enjoying a brief vacation in New York. We wish we were surprised.
What does surprise us: Just moments ago at the Ferragamo on 5th Avenue, Condoleeza Rice was seen spending several thousands of dollars on some nice, new shoes (we've confirmed this, so her new heels will surely get coverage from the WaPo's Robin Givhan). A fellow shopper, unable to fathom the absurdity of Rice's timing, went up to the Secretary and reportedly shouted, "How dare you shop for shoes while thousands are dying and homeless!" Never one to have her fashion choices questioned, Rice had security PHYSICALLY REMOVE the woman.
3) Anderson Cooper berates Senator Landrieu - John Stewart couldn't be prouder

Was it possible for us to love Anderson Cooper more than we already did? Yes, it turns it out, it was possible. Our love grew at about 7:30 last night, in the middle of 360°, when Coop, who's been in New Orleans for days, finally, well, flipped out. Mad as hell, you say? Madder. He was talking to Sen. Mary Landrieu, Democrat of Louisiana, and we can bet she's not going on his show again soon. Round one:

COOPER: Does the federal government bear responsibility for what is happening now? Should they apologize for what is happening now?
LANDRIEU: Anderson, there will be plenty of time to discuss all of those issues, about why, and how, and what, and if. ... Let me just say a few things. Thank President Clinton and former President Bush for their strong statements of support and comfort today. ... I want to thank Senator Frist and Senator Reid for their extraordinary efforts.
Anderson, tonight, I don't know if you've heard -- maybe you all have announced it -- but Congress is going to an unprecedented session to pass a $10 billion supplemental bill tonight to keep FEMA and the Red Cross up and operating.
COOPER: ... I haven't heard that, because, for the last four days, I've been seeing dead bodies in the streets here in Mississippi. And to listen to politicians thanking each other and complimenting each other, you know, I got to tell you, there are a lot of people here who are very upset, and very angry, and very frustrated.
And when they hear politicians slap -- you know, thanking one another, it just, you know, it kind of cuts them the wrong way right now. Because literally there was a body on the streets of this town yesterday being eaten by rats, because this woman had been laying in the street for 48 hours. And there's not enough facilities to take her up.
Do you get the anger that is out here?

Does she get the anger? Does she? (And will she thank another politician? Of course she will.)
Anderson whups some more senatorial ass -- and we finally start feeling just a touch less embarrassed to be citizens of this banana republic.

LANDRIEU: Anderson, I have the anger inside of me. Most of the homes in my family have been destroyed. Our homes have been destroyed. I understand what you're saying, and I know all of those details. And the president of the United States knows those details.
COOPER: Well, who are you angry at?
LANDRIEU: I'm not angry at anyone. I'm just expressing that it is so important for everyone in this nation to pull together, for all military assets and all assets to be brought to bear in this situation.
And I have every confidence that this country is as great and as strong as we can be do to that. And that effort is under way.
COOPER: Well, I mean, there are a lot of people here who are kind of ashamed of what is happening in this country right now, what is -- ashamed of what is happening in your state, certainly.
And that's not to blame the people who are there. It's a desperate situation. But I guess, you know, who can -- I mean, no one seems to be taking responsibility.
I mean, I know you say there's a time and a place for, kind of, you know, looking back, but this seems to be the time and the place. I mean, there are people who want answers, and there are people who want someone to stand up and say, "You know what? We should have done more. Are all the assets being brought to bear?"
LANDRIEU: Anderson, Anderson...
COOPER: I mean, today, for the first time, I'm seeing National Guard troops in this town.
LANDRIEU: Anderson, I know. And I know where you are. And I know what you're seeing. Believe me, we know it. And we understand, and there will be a time to talk about all of that. Trust me.
I know what the people are suffering. The governor knows. The president knows. The military officials know. And they're trying to do the very best they can to stabilize the situation.
Senator Vitter, our congressional delegation, all of us understand what is happening. We are doing our very, very best to get the situation under control.
But I want to thank the president. He will be here tomorrow, we think. And the military is sending assets as we speak.
So, please, I understand. You might say I'm a politician, but I grew up in New Orleans. My father was the mayor of that city. I've represented that city my whole life, and it's just not New Orleans. It's St. Bernard, and St. Tammany, and Plaquemines Parish that have been completely underwater.
Our levee system has failed. We need a lot of help. And the Congress has been wonderful to help us, and we need more help.
Nobody's perfect, Anderson. Everybody has to stand up here. And I know you understand. So thank you so much for everything you're doing.
COOPER: Well, I appreciate you joining us on the program tonight. I can only imagine how busy you are. Thank you very much, Senator Landrieu.
LANDRIEU: Thank you, Anderson. Thank you so much. Thank you.
COOPER: And good luck to you and all the people working to solve this problem. Because, at this point, it is very hard to try to figure our how this problem is going to get solved.


4)










In case you are wondering, it's the google ad at the bottom that's ironic.

5) New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin gave indignation an elegant if slightly blue gloss yesterday on local radio. Listen to the interview (mp3) or read the full "excuse my French everybody in America, but I am pissed" transcript.
"After 9/11 we gave the president unprecented powers to take care of New York and those other places.... you mean to tell me that a place where thousands of people and thousands more people are dying, we can't figure out [how to get them help]. . . somebody need to get their ass on a plane and sit down, the two of them, and figure this out right now.
And he offers a fine suggestion:
"I don't want to see anybody to anymore more goddamn press conferences. Put a moratorium on press conferences. Don't do another press conference until the resources are in this city."

the kicker: the Pres spoke at New Orleans airport at 2:50PM.

6) Vacation is Over... an open letter from Michael Moore to George W. Bush
Need I say more? Michael Moore (Fahrenheit 911) blasts the prez over his handling of the NOLA disaster.

7) I heart NOLA t-shirts

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Beautiful images of the ugly Ukrainian underbelly of society

Donald Weber is a photojournalist, who chose Ukraine as this year's subject for his photo work. These images are haunting, yet powerful reminders of what it's like to live a third-world existence in a nation splintered from a first? second? world country. The photos are scary, but true, and while there aren't many, they manage to capture the three sides of organized crime - the perpetrators, the victims, and the cops. Great set of pics!

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Bible references in the most unusual places

For all the young hot chicas out there - next time you shop at Forever 21, take a look at the bag.
Forever 21 and Bible bagging
Forever 21 is a "cheap chic" retail chain selling junior and women's clothes. Apparently, Christian evangelism comes free with purchase. The fine print on their bags reads "John 3:16," referring to a Bible verse. Of course, Forever 21 isn't the first to employ this tacky tactic. In-N-Out Burger has been doing it for years.

Friday, July 15, 2005

bit-tech.net Forums - Dark Blade by G69T

I bought a dremel tool a while ago, and it's come in handy once or twice. Little things here and there - it's an awesome tool.
Seeing Dark Blade by G69T, however, just made me hang my head in shame. While my lack of skills is depressing enough, I have a feeling anyone who sees the amazing craftsmanship of this PC case (no, not the one on the first page at the very top) will hang their head in shame, and bow in respect. Wow! And the scary thing is - this is just the water cooling block!

Maker's website: http://www.g69t.it/

Friday, July 01, 2005

GTA3 can be dangerous to your health...

David Robinson, 14, of Middleton, New Hampshire, was playing Grand Theft Auto 3 during a thunderstorm when he was zapped by lightning that struck outside his bedroom and traveled through his PlayStation controller. Fortunately, the shock only left Robinson exhausted and with a black spot on his left hand. From Foster's Daily Democrat:
"My TV went out a few seconds before I got a shock," Robinson said, adding the current traveled through the television, the gaming system and into him through his game controller.

Robinson said he doesn't remember what happened next, but believes the electricity traveled from his left hand and exited through a toe on his right foot, part of which he shot off with a .32 caliber rifle during an accident in October...

"I was shocked myself that it (the electricity) traveled through his whole body and didn't damage it," (his mother Wendy) Smith said, adding there was a distinct hole and black spot in Robinson's left hand where the electricity entered his body. His body was also severely stimulated to the point of exhaustion...

"I was worried my Play Station was broken," Robinson said, adding the television, the video game and the Play Station were undamaged, but the controller was fried by the charge.

Gmail Drive for Windows


Gmail not just for e-mails anymore

Gmail is now offering 2 gigs worth of space for e-mails. Personally I find that I can’t fill that much of space with mail if I tried. Apparently I am not alone. Not to long ago a few individuals figured out that they could link their Gmail accounts to their computers and use it as a drive. First this feature was only available to the lucky Linux users. However, recently a wonderful Danish chap has reengineered the idea and has made this great feature available to the average Windows user like myself.

The Gmail Drive works just like a regular drive on your computer with the only difference being that you must login.

Down side, no one knows how long this little treasure will last. Google is bound to shut it down sooner or later. I hardly doubt that they actually expected anyone to fill up their accounts to the max 2 gigs, boy are they in for a surprise

If you didn't figure out that the title is the link, here it is again: http://www.viksoe.dk/code/gmail.htm

Friday, June 24, 2005

Useful tips for wallet maintenance

Normally, I don't care much for things found online (SNOPES seems to take good care of those stories). This posting, however, made sense:
FOUND IN THE NEWSGROUPS:
  • The next time you order checks have only your initials (instead of first name) and last name put on them. If someone takes your checkbook, they will not know if you sign your checks with just your initials or your first name but your bank will know how you sign your checks.
  • When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO NOT put the complete account number on the "For" line. Instead, just put the last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number and anyone! who might be handling your check as It passes through all the check processing channels won't have access to it.
  • Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone. If you have a PO Box use that instead of your home address. Never have your SS# printed on your checks (DUH!) you can add it if it is necessary. But if you have it printed, anyone can get it.
  • Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine, do both sides of each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel.
  • Keep the photocopy in a safe place. I also carry a photocopy of my passport when I travel either here or abroad. We have all heard horror stories about fraud that's committed on us in stealing a name, address, Social Security number, credit cards, etc.
  • Unfortunately, I, an attorney, have firsthand knowledge because my wallet was stolen last month. Within a week, the thieve(s) ordered an expensive monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record information online, and more.
  • But here's some critical information to limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know: We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately. But the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call. Keep those where you can find them easily.
  • File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where it was stolen, this proves to credit providers you were diligent, and is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).
  • But here is what is perhaps most important: (I never even thought to do this):
    • Call the three national credit-reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and Social Security number. I had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me an application for credit was made over the Internet in my name.
    • The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit. By the time I was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft, all the damage had been done.
      • There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the thieves' purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert. Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet away this weekend (someone turned it in). It seems to have stopped them in their tracks.
The numbers are:
Equifax: 1-800-525-6285
Experian (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742
Trans Union: 1-800-680-7289
Social Security Administration (fraud line): 1-800-269-0271

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Royal Caribbean's E-marketing Slip-Up

I got a stupid marketing e-mail from Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines, so I thought I'd share what I wrote to them:

I received the e-mail below, addressed to "my e-mail address", from your company recently. Ironically, it ended up in my spam filter folder, where all of your e-mail correspondence will go, from now on.
Last year, I enjoyed a cruise on the Monarch of the Seas, and because of this e-mail, which itself is a result of your idiotic marketing team, I will not purchase
another cruise from Royal Caribbean. This message uses the same tactics as some of the sleaziest spammers around, and for that reason, I will do my best to
advise people to not do business with your company.

Why was I so offended? Because the message uses some dirty spammer tricks:
  1. if you do nothing, you are automatically signed up.
  2. If I do not want to receive your useless advertising, I have to click on a link.
  3. How do I know the e-mail itself came from RCCL? The removal link is certainly not on RCCL servers. How do I know this is not a phishing e-mail?
Once I checked the headers, and ascertained that this e-mail did come from the RCCL morons in charge of marketing, and I did click the link, the server on the other end was broken (a 500-server-error page came up).
So let's see - if I didn't see the message (it was, after all, caught in my spam filter), I would get signed up automatically. The removal link is not on the sending company's servers - a sign of phishing. And the link to remove myself - does not work. So let me ask you - if you can't handle something as simple as e-mail marketing, and are using such sleazy tactics, why would I trust you with my life on one of your much-more-complex-to-operate ships?

Sorry, Royal Caribbean - you've lost a customer.

me

EMAIL:
***************************************************************
You are receiving this email as a customer of Royal Caribbean
International. If you no longer wish to receive email
communications from Royal Caribbean International, please
remove yourself as instructed below.
***************************************************************

As a valued Royal Caribbean International customer, you are
invited to be the first to know about the latest cruise vacation
news and promotions from Royal Caribbean International. All we
need is your permission to send you email updates about the
latest news from Royal Caribbean International.

Because we value our customers' privacy, we are presently
seeking your approval to communicate with you through email. If
you do not want us to contact you via email, please click on the
link at the bottom of this email, and your email address will
immediately be removed from our list.

If you'd like to receive email updates from us, do nothing.
Soon, we'll begin delivering messages to your email inbox with
the latest cruise vacation news and promotions to help with your
cruise vacation planning.

If you'd like to visit our website today, you may click here.
www.royalcaribbean.com

Thank you for your time and we look forward to serving you
online.

Sincerely,

Royal Caribbean International


=======================E-MAIL INFORMATION======================

Please see below for important information regarding our e-mail
correspondence.

To ensure delivery to your inbox (not bulk or junk folders),
please add royalcaribbean@explorer.royalcaribbean.com to your
address book.

To unsubscribe, simply click here:
http://cs.customer-contact.net/t/u.do?m=xxxx

If you would like to update your e-mail address, please send an
e-mail to mailto:RCCL@explorer.royalcaribbean.com , including the
word "change" in the subject field. Please include both your old
e-mail address and your new one to help us expedite your request.

To read our Privacy Policy, click here:
http://www.royalcaribbean.com/privacyPolicy.do

If you have questions or comments about anything you've seen in
this message, feel free to e-mail us anytime at
mailto:web_emailmarketing@rccl.com .

© 2005 Royal Caribbean Cruises Ltd. Ships registered in
Norway and the Bahamas.

Royal Caribbean International
1050 Caribbean Way
Miami, FL 33132-2096 USA

Monday, April 18, 2005

Here's the second session of a lovely conversation between myself and a struggling Sony help agent:

chat id : 60f92033-758a-45ff-95b1-c0d139cbf266
Problem : need code for tivo

Warren_ > Welcome to Sony Online Support. I will be glad to assist you.

Art > oh, good, it's you again

Art > continuing the tivo code discussion

Art > you suggested I download the manual from the website

Art > as I told you in the very beginning of the conversation, I did download the manual, and the codes

Warren_ > I can understand your concern, however you cannot program the Tivo DVR with this Remote Commander.

Art > the code booklet, in .pdf format, that's listed on the American support site, is a scan of the UK code booklet

Art > the code booklet that came with the American remote that I bought here in the US is different from the code booklet that is on the American support site

Warren_ > Did you download the component code manual using the link I have sent?

Art > you sent me a generic link that takes me to the support document site. The manual there is wrong. the code booklet that came with the remote lists "DVR", next line says" Tivo", and the next line lists "Sony" witha code, after which it lists "Philips" with a code. Neither of those work with Tivo-brand Tivo unit

Art > I went do docs.sony.com, put in my model number, clicked on "component codes", and it's giving me the UK version of the booklet.

Warren_ > Art, we not have any code at all to control a DVR with this Remote Commander.

Art > You have told me the same thing over and over. How about asking someone else who might know

Art > If you have seen the same pdf booklet that I have seen, tell me this - why would an American booklet list "Analogue Satellite"?

Art > Since when do we use "Analogue"?

Art > I keep telling you - my booklet is different from what's on the website, which is why I'm assuming that there might be a newer code that you don't know about

Art > you keep telling me there's no code for DVR - and yet there are two codes

Art > how about this then - you tell me which Sony universal remote does support the TIVO

Art > just remember - right now I have about a dozen high-priced Sony items around my home. Your actions will determine whether I throw out all of these items, boycott Sony products from now on, tell everyone I know how poorly your company is run, and forward this transcript to Sony executives, as well as post it online for all to read - or you put in just a little bit of effort, and help me solve my problem

Art > whether it means you asking someone who actually knows something, or me getting another Sony remote

Art > or me regretting every buying Sony products

Warren_ > I can understand your concern.

Warren_ > Can you please let me know the codes you are referring to? Thank you.

Warren_ > I meant the codes for Sony DVR.

Art > I don't have the booklet with me, but the code is, I'm pretty sure, 3109 or 3102

Warren_ > Please stay online while I check this information for you.

Warren_ > I am sorry for the delay.

Warren_ > Can you please confirm the model number of the Remote you are referring to?

Art > rm-vl1000

Warren_ > I am sorry to say that, the manual available with me for this model does not have any code to control a DVR.

Art > Does your manual list "Analogue Satellite Receiver"?

Warren_ > Yes, it says/

Warren_ > I am sorry for the typo.

Warren_ > Yes, it has the code for Analogue Satellite Receiver.

Art > Americans spell it "Analog", in case you don't have a Webster's dictionary nearby.

Art > only in the UK/Australia is it spelled Analogue

Art > as I've told you over and over, the support website has the wrong manual

Art > and if you find the american manual, it lists DVR, followed by TIVO, followed by "Sony" and "Philips" codes

Art > so are you planning on putting any work into this, and perhaps have this oversight fixed, as well as figure out an answer, perhaps by contacting an engineer or someone who knows what they are doing - or do I start contacting the media about how terrible the customer support is?

Warren_ > I am working on this issue, please stay online with me.

Warren_ > I will forward a link where you can find the latest code available with this Remote Commander.

Warren_ > http://esupport.sony.com/perl/model-remote.pl?mdl=RMVL1000&LOC=3

Warren_ > Are you able to view the page?

Warren_ > Since this page too does not have any code to control a DVR and the situation needs special attention I suggest that you contact our Home Video Hotline team at 1-800-222-7669.

Warren_ > Their timing are:
Mon - Fri: 8:00 a.m. - 9:45 p.m. (EST)
Sat & Sun: 10:30 a.m. - 7:00 p.m. (EST).

Warren_ > Are you online with me?

Art > yes

Art > I can't click on the website

Warren_ > Is there anything else that I can assist you with today?

Art > can you put the link into the "Websites" so I can click on it and take a look?

Warren_ > Please click on the link I have sent, it will open in a new window.

Warren_ > Are you online with me?

Art > nope

Warren_ > Thank you for contacting Sony Online Support today.

Warren_ > Analyst has closed chat and left the room

Sony - the latest perpetrator of high blood pressure

Bought a new universal remote control last week. It's a beaut - a Sony RM VL-1000. Controls 12 devices, LCD screen, joystick - really nice. Controls all of my entertainment center, except for one unit - my 80-hour TIVO DVR (only $99 for a limited time!)- the one device whose remote I use the most! The component code booklet lists "DVR", and under DVR there are two entries - Tivo, and Replay. Under Tivo, there are two codes - Sony (of course), and Philips. Guess what - nothing about Tivo itself. Tried both codes, neither works.
So, I thought Sony might be able to help. Go to docs.sony.com, look for the code booklet - it turns out to be a UK version of the booklet (it lists an analogue satellite receiver, but no Tivo).
So I go to "Contact Support", find their handy "Chat" button, and here are the transcripts of my conversation with a complete moron:
LiveAssist Transcript
chat id : f539201e-80e5-40c1-a22b-b5a501665b62
Problem : need code for tivo dvr
Warren_ > Welcome to Sony Online Support. I will be glad to assist you.
Art > hi
Warren_ > Hi,

Art > bough rm-vl1000 remote, looked through instructions, lists code for TIVO, brand=Sony and brand=Philips. What about Tivo-brand Tivo DVR?  What's the code for those?
Art > Website has neither DVR nor TIVO codes, and code listing .pdf on website is from the UK version, and TIVO is not listed at all
Warren_ > Did you purchase the unit in the US?
Art > Yes
Warren_ > Since the RMVL1000 does not have any code to control the Tivo DVR, I suggest that you use the learning feature of the DVR to control it, however you need to have the original Remote supplied with the DVR to use the learning feature. 
Art > http://esupport.sony.com/perl/model-documents.pl_questionmark_mdl_equalsign_RMVL1000 leads to a UK version of the component codes booklet
Art > I'm asking if YOU have the code
Warren_ > If you have purchase the unit in the US, there is no code to control a Tivo DVR with this Remote Commander.
Art > Are you assuming this, or are you 100% sure?
Warren_ > I am sorry, we do not have any code to control a Tivo DVR with the RMVL1000 Remote Commander. 
Warren_ > Yes, I am 100% sure of that. 
Art > but you do have a code to control Sony/Philips brand TIVO unit?
Warren_ > I do not have any information about the codes available with UK brand Remote Commanders. 
Warren_ > Are there any other concerns we have not covered yet?
Art > I'm not asking about UK remotes- I'm asking about American version of the RM-VL1000, bought in the United States
Art > I was just pointing out that sony support website has an incorrect pdf
Warren_ > The RMVL1000 Remote commander does not have any code to control the Tivo DVR.
Art > Does the RMVL1000 have a code to control Sony/Philips brand Tivo DVR?
Art > Does the American version of the RMVL1000 have a code/codes to control Sony/Philips brand  DVRs with TIVO software?
Warren_ > I am sorry, we do not have any code to control a DVr with this Remote Commander. 
Art > Then you don't know what you are talking about, since the booklet included with the remote lists Sony Tivo DVR and Philips Tivo DVR codes.  Can you transfer me to an agent who does know what he/she is talking about?
Warren_ > I am referring to the correct manual here, please stay online while I confirm this information for you.
Art > ok
Warren_ > The RMVL1000 Remote does not support DVRs and it does not have any codes to control a DVR.
Warren_ > I suggest that you please download the manual from our website. I will forward a page where you can enter the model number and obtain the manual. 
Warren_ > Web Page Push : http://docs.sony.com
Warren_ > Are you able to view the page?
Warren_ > Are you online with me?
Warren_ > Thank you for contacting Sony Online Support today.
Warren_ > Analyst has closed chat and left the room
I was preoccupied by something else, so I got logged out of the conversation.
The conclusion to this moronic exchange will come in the next post, as I've been waiting for the last ten minutes for this Warren idiot (who I got again upon going back to chat) to "check this information for you".

Argh!